


Hearth and Home

by TJLJJ



Category: Bridgerton (TV), Bridgerton Series - Julia Quinn
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Jealous Colin Bridgerton, Jealousy, Polin, Polinating, Polinator, Slow Build, Unrequited Love, Writers, polination
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-07
Updated: 2021-03-09
Packaged: 2021-03-18 07:16:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 12,451
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28614213
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TJLJJ/pseuds/TJLJJ
Summary: Penelope Featherington has been in love with Colin Bridgerton since God-knows-when and everybody knows it, but him. Colin considers Pen one of his dearest friends - one of the constants in his life. But what happens when that constancy is being threatened by a dashing newcomer?
Relationships: Colin Bridgerton/Penelope Featherington
Comments: 150
Kudos: 370





	1. Colin Comes Home

**Author's Note:**

> This work was borne out of my hunger to see/read more Polin works and I thank YOU to all the writers/creators who have satiated my hunger and lit the literary fire in my belly.  
> This is my first ever fanfiction. I never knew I would write those words as I consider myself more of a reader than a writer.  
> This is dedicated to all the Polinators out there :) Go forth & Polinate (?!)

Journal,

_Our houseguest is supposed to arrive tomorrow. A distant cousin of Dad from London. I heard from Mom that she’s being ~~exiled~~ sent here because she went against her dad’s wishes and flirted with her dad’s lowly secretary. How scandalous! Doh! Yeah, if we were still in the Regency era! But this is the 21st century! Even celebrities sometimes get flirty/fruity with the help (See: Jude Law). And what’s wrong with cavorting with a secretary? You’ll at least have someone to do the dic(k)tations ;). _

_Anyway, I think it was incredibly brave of her. It takes a whole lot of gumption to go against your dad’s wishes. Especially when he controls the purse strings! I can’t even confess my love to the man I’ve loved ONLY for the past 2 decades - COLIN BRIDGERTON! Pathetic, right?! I came pretty close one time, but I wimped out at the last second. Anyone in my position would! I remember that day vividly, but I had never written about it until now because it was an embarrassment of epic proportions! It was 6 yrs ago, I was fresh out of Oxford. I felt mature and accomplished enough to finally reveal my best-kept secret. I thought that he would look at me as a woman now that I had made something of myself._

_The day was dreary and a torrential downpour was forthcoming. It appeared portentous! I should have known that what I was about to do that day was foolhardy! Even the sun felt embarrassed for me that it chose to burrow itself somewhere never to be seen until the following day. I marched up the steps of the stately Bridgerton estate in my best dress and with my flaming red hair ironed to perfection (at least that part of me was paper-thin), and lips overlined to appear like I had a perpetual pout. I also spritzed half the bottle of my favorite body spray all over myself. The help hid her surprise (and/or disgust???) very well when she opened the door to me and ushered me to the sitting room to wait for Eloise. I did not correct this misconception so as not to arouse suspicion if I were to ask to see Colin instead._

_It was unusually quiet for a weekend. The sitting room was usually abuzz with Bridgerton energy and chaos as the older and much-married Bridgertons (Anthony, Benedict & Daphne) visit the family estate with their enlarging brood. I texted Eloise asking where she was, but she had not responded. She didn’t know I was coming over that time. I was in the middle of my Colin fantasies when loud voices pierced through my musings. It was coming from Anthony’s old office. It was Violet - giving one of the Bridgertons a good talking to. At first, I thought it was Eloise. She was always causing trouble and if she wasn’t causing trouble, she was in the middle of one. But the voice responding to Violet was a male voice. A distinctly male voice. The one that’s haunted me in both my waking and sleeping moments. _

_I should have walked away. I was eavesdropping at the Bridgertons, no less, I know. But I am Portia Featherington’s daughter after all. The argument was heated. Violet was tired of Colin gallivanting around town with its most popular girls and was pleading with him to settle down, find a decent girl to marry, and help Anthony with the family business. My ears perked when my name was mentioned. My heart soared upon being considered as a bride for Colin. But what I heard next shattered not only my heart but also my lifelong dream of becoming Mrs. Colin Bridgerton._

**_“I am not going to marry anytime soon and certainly not to one Penelope Featherington!”_ **

_I felt the wind was knocked out of me upon hearing that impassioned declaration. I felt sick and utterly foolish. I had to get out of there. And as luck would have it, the front door opened and in came Daphne and her husband along with their twins, and not far behind were Anthony and heavily pregnant Kate. Their chatter stopped when they saw me. I must have looked like a fright because Kate let out a whimper and brought a hand to her heart. Daphne, bless her heart, ushered the newly arrived immediately to the sitting room sparing me from further scrutiny. And as soon as I heard the door of the study room click open, I hightailed it out of there._

_Heaven’s floodgates opened as soon as I reached the front stoop. I remember throwing Colin a glance when he called my name. I remember the look of pity he gave me. And I remember how it felt to have your heart and dreams broken at the same time._

_That day, I vowed to stop loving and dreaming of a future with Colin. I never saw him after that day, but Eloise kept me abreast of his goings-on. I knew he was leaving to fulfill his lifelong dream of world travel. It was either that or get married. I did not see him off because the pain of his rejection was still too raw. A fact that I’ve regretted and he never let me forget in his letter from Greece: his first stop. He had become a dutiful correspondent after that. We still exchange the occasional text messages during holidays and birthdays and we would leave comments on each other’s social media. But there’s something special about receiving a handwritten missive. Something intimate._

_He had come home twice a year after his first trip. I never came to see him when he’s home and he’s mentioned this emphatically in his letters and text messages. I always begged off saying I was too busy with work or research. True, there were times I was too busy with work. But there were also times I could have seen him if I chose to. I wanted to see him. Oh, how I wanted to see him. But I needed to teach my heart to forget my love for him._

_Today, I am no different from that girl of 6 yrs ago. Still in love with Colin Bridgerton. Coz the heart wants what it wants. But I am no longer hoping nor dreaming of a life and future with Colin Bridgerton. The most I could hope for is a deep and everlasting friendship._

_He comes home today. And I think I’m brave enough to see him. Maybe my heart will flutter a bit, but that is nothing new._

_On to battle!_

-Pen

Meanwhile, from across the street. Colin breathes in the fresh and comforting smell of home. He hears Hyacinth and Gregory arguing - and quite loudly.

“Ahhh, it’s good to be home.” He smirked.


	2. Welcome Home, Colin Bridgerton!

All of the Bridgertons were gathered in the sitting room. It was complete and utter chaos. And Colin wouldn’t have it any other way. He has a bunch of nieces and nephews now. Mary, Anthony and Kate’s youngest, crawled onto his lap and planted her sticky hands onto his cheeks.

“Uncle Colin, did you bring me a bunny?”

“Awww. Sweetie, I’m sorry. Uncle Colin couldn’t sneak in a bunny. But I got you a stuffed panda.”

The child gave him a toothy grin and nuzzled further into his chest. 

Colin felt an unfamiliar pang in his chest as he held Mary closer. Penelope surreptitiously watched this whole exchange with wonder and longing and hurt. It feels like she’s watching Colin’s future. A future that would probably not include her. 

“Pen!!! Come here.” Eloise exclaimed. She ran to Penelope and pulled her into the sitting room.

As soon as he heard Penelope’s name, Colin stood up with Mary in his arms and walked up to his dearest friend.

“Pen!!! I'll collect my hug once I'm free from being held hostage by this brat.” Mary wiggled out of his arms, ran to Penelope, and hugged her legs. 

“Hi, Auntie Penny!!! What did you bring me today? Uncle Colin brought me a toy panda.” Penelope knelt and gathered the child into her arms. 

“Oh no, honey! You know the drill. You pay first before I give you the goods.” The adorable child then gives her a peck on both cheeks, a smack on the lips, and a hug. 

Penelope put the child down, pulled out a plush toy from her purse, and handed it to the child. This earned her a fierce hug and a couple of kisses on her cheeks.

“I love you, Auntie Penny!!!”

This was a side of Penelope Colin wasn’t familiar with. It feels like he’s witnessing Penelope’s future as a mother. As Colin continued to look on, he felt a vise-like grip around his heart. He suddenly felt faint and short of breath. He loosened his shirt collar. 

“Ok there, Col?” Eloise asked with a knowing smirk.

Penelope and Mary looked up at him. Penelope’s concern was etched all over her face. Eloise took Mary and joined the others in the sitting room. Penelope touched Colin’s forehead to check his temperature. 

_ She’s got the smoothest skin. Like peaches and cream. And the most luscious lips.  _ He was surprised by where his thoughts for Penelope are going. He has never looked at her that way. And it both scared and excited him. 

Penelope grabbed his hand and gently dragged and almost unceremoniously dumped him onto the nearby settee. He let himself enjoy her ministrations. Her touch was urgent but soothing. Her fingertips on his skin felt like licks of fire. And he felt bereft when she stopped touching him. She stood over him while chewing the top of her lip and scanning him for obvious signs of injury or medical emergency.  _ Oohhh, I would like to chew those pillowy lips.  _ He couldn’t help himself but his eyes shifted downwards. Her hands were placed on her hips and this action pulled her shirt taut across her firm breasts. He immediately grabbed one of those small lacy pillows his mother loves to decorate practically every corner of the house with and placed it on top of his burgeoning fly. 

“You do not have a fever.” 

“Yeah, but I feel feverish.” He murmured under his breath. If he wasn’t having a medical emergency earlier, he’s close to having one now. 

“I’m sorry?”

“Uhhh, nothing, Pen. I feel faint.”

“Yeah, you do look green around the gills. And you’re sweating. You must still be exhausted from your travel and haven’t gotten your land legs yet.” Penelope added and disappeared into the kitchen momentarily. 

This gave him a chance to gather his thoughts and consider the emotions and sensations he’s feeling towards Penelope. She’s been his friend since she was in her nappies. He has always considered her an honorary Bridgerton - another sister of sorts. But whatever he’s feeling is far from sisterly. Maybe Penelope is right, he has to get his land legs back. Or maybe he just missed her company so much that all these foreign feelings are coming to the surface. He hasn’t seen her for six years. 

_ Maybe I just needed time to adjust to her presence again.  _ But he still couldn’t explain why he’s having all these sexual thoughts and feelings about Penelope. If he plans on staying and rekindle their friendship, he needs to rein in these strange feelings. He couldn’t be sporting a hard-on whenever he’s around her. He rapped the back of his head on the wall to knock some sense into his head. He was in the middle of pondering on a predicament when Penelope walked in with a tray filled with scones and tea. 

“Maybe you also have low blood sugar, so I asked Wickham if he still has scones from yesterday. Here, eat up. You look like you’re going to keel over.” She placed the tray next to him on the settee. 

“Sit down, Pen, and let’s enjoy this together. Tell me what you’ve been up to.”

“Colin, if we’re to go by how you’re coveting those scones, we both know you alone could decimate that plate in seconds.” 

“You haven’t changed, Pen. Your barbs can still cut.” They exchanged a smile and a look so charged they could have lit up the whole town. 

“Anyway, I can’t stay long. I just wanted to welcome you home and see how you’re doing. We have a guest coming today. Although, I’m not sure if I could use the term “guest” since she’ll be staying with us indefinitely.”

He’s not sure why he felt deflated that she’s not staying longer. 

“Thanks for coming to see me. It's so good to see you after all these years. Maybe I can come over later so we can catch up? Although we’ll have plenty of time for that since I decided to take an extended vacation from traveling.”

He grabbed her hand. “I missed you, Pen. So much.” He gave her hand a firm squeeze. His eyes bore onto hers like they were searching for something within her soul. His gaze feels different and it unnerved her. She doesn’t know how to deal with  _ this _ Colin. Confused, she squeezed his hand back and gave him a nervous smile. 

“I missed you too, Col. I’ll see you later?”

“You bet!” He had the audacity to wink and grin at her before popping a scone into his mouth. 

As he watched her leave he thought he didn’t get to collect the hug she owed him. 

_ Journal,  _

_ HE’S BACK!!!! And more gorgeous than ever! He has aged since I last saw him, but he’s aging like fine wine. He developed a tan that made his blue eyes stand out. They’re like glinting sapphires. He said he’s taking a break from traveling which means we’ll be seeing more of each other. Can my heart take this much Colin? _

_ Stay tuned! _

_ Pen _


	3. Distraction Arrives

He was putting his clothes away and sorting items from his travels when Eloise burst into his room. 

“So, what made you feel sick earlier, brother mine?”

“You heard Penelope.”

“Colin, you can fool others with your talent for obfuscation but I’m your  _ intelligent _ sister! You can’t fool me w/ that rubbish about finding your land legs. You’ve traveled for several years and you haven’t felt faint all those years ago when you came home to visit. Why now? In Penelope’s presence? Hmm, dear brother?”

He has always hated the fact that Eloise’s brain is as fast as her motor mouth. What to say, indeed? When even he himself does not know why he feels the way he feels. 

“I see. You haven’t figured it all out yourself. Luckily for you, I have! But I won’t ruin this for you. If you have even half a brain working, you’ll figure this out. I just hope you figure this out before it’s too late. Tata, brother! Tell Pen I’ll be around sometime this week.”

“How do you know I'm going to visit Pen?” Eloise just quirked an eyebrow and her eyes drifted down to the box of chocolates he’s holding. It was a box of  _ Chocolatier Palet D’or _ he picked up when he was waiting for his train in Tokyo en route to Kyoto. When he passed by the sweet shop, Penelope was the first person who came to mind. He remembered how she loved chocolates, so he bought her a box. 

“I only know of one person who’s absolutely obsessed with chocolates. She’s got flaming red hair that goes with her fiery personality.”

“Colin Bridgerton! Welcome back! Come in! Come in!” The Featherington matriarch, the incomparable Portia Featherington, ushered him in.

“Felicity!!! Felicity! Come down at once! Mr. Bridgerton is here.”

Felicity??!!! His head whipped so fast he feared he might have twisted a neck muscle. 

“Mrs. Featherington, I’m not here to see Felicity. Can you please let Penelope know I’m here to see her? I’ve got something for her.”

Before Portia could respond, Felicity who was already watching this whole exchange with amusement near the top of the staircase loudly exclaimed. “I’ll get her. Penelope!!! Penelope!!!” 

Penelope came out and rushed thinking there was a fire, burglary, or medical emergency. She screeched to a halt when he saw Colin downstairs with her mother. Sensing he needed rescuing, she ran towards Colin and pulled him towards the back porch. 

“Let’s go get baked in the back.”

As soon as they situated themselves on the Adirondack chairs, Colin pulled out the box of chocolates and handed it to Penelope.

“Here, I got you these chocolates from Japan. I remember how you loved chocolates. I hope you’ll love these ones. They’re supposed to be really good.” He knew he was blithering like an idiot, but he couldn’t help himself. He doesn’t understand why it’s important to him for Penelope to like his gift. 

Her eyes almost bugged out of her head and she immediately snatched the box from him and opened it. 

“Thank you! You are too sweet to think of getting me a gift. Here, have one. I can’t believe you didn’t try them yourself.” She handed him a piece before popping one into her mouth. Her eyes fluttered and she let out an uncharacteristically loud moan. Colin looked on aghast and acutely turned on. He knows Penelope didn’t mean it to be sexual, but he couldn’t help the carnal thoughts that flooded his consciousness. He saw a vision of Penelope sprawled on his bed with nothing on but her beautiful, smooth skin pink and glistening after being thoroughly loved by him. And as if the god of mischief is playing a mean trick on him, he caught Penelope licking melted chocolate off her fingers. He abruptly stood up and paced around which astonished Penelope.

“Col, what’s wrong?”

“Uhm! Charley horse! I get it occasionally. I just need to walk it off. Don’t worry your pretty head. Actually, can I trouble you for a glass of water? Sometimes, dehydration brings this on.” He needed to get Penelope away from him. 

Penelope looked perplexed and ready to argue, but she wisely kept her mouth shut and went inside to get him a drink. 

“Gah!!! Aaagghhh!” He let out a scream. 

“Colin Bridgerton, what is wrong with you? Why are you lusting after your sister’s best & oldest friend? And one that you also consider a close and dear friend?” He paced back and forth while occasionally kicking the unsuspecting dirt beneath him. He sang whatever nursery rhyme he could remember as he shuffled back and forth to redirect the blood that has pooled around his groin. 

“You need to get laid. How long has it been?” He mentally counted. “Yeah, I bet that’s it! It’s been a while since I’ve had some action.  _ You  _ need a distraction!” 

“Ahem! Colin, are you talking to your groin?” It was Penelope back with a tray of pinwheels and lemonade and next to her is a woman he hasn’t seen before. Penelope placed the tray on a nearby table, grabbed the woman’s hand, and walked up to him. 

“Colin, this is Marina Thompson. Dad’s cousin from London. She’ll be staying with us indefinitely. Marina, this is Colin Bridgerton. He’s my best friend, Eloise’s elder brother.” Penelope introduced.

An idea came up as he shook hands with the newcomer.  _ Distraction _ .

_ Journal,  _

_ Colin came over today to bring me chocolates from Japan. Isn’t he the sweetest? The chocolates were sweet as well. He is making it hard for me to get over him. Although, there was an instant earlier this afternoon in which I thought Colin looked at me funny/strangely. I couldn’t put my finger on it. He gave me this funny look while I was devouring the chocolates he brought me. Joseph, Mary, Jesus, and all their carpenter friends!!!! Did he think me a pig for devouring those chocolates??? But chocolates are meant to be enjoyed! I don’t care! Chocolates is life! Yet, Colin >>>> chocolates! I do really have a knack for making a fool of myself in front of the only man I’ve ever loved.  _

_ BTW, I introduced Colin and Marina to each other. Since Marina is staying with us indefinitely, it would do her good to make some friends while she’s with us. And when you’re friends with one Bridgerton, you’re friends with all 9 of them.  _

_ Pen _


	4. The Writer Meets the Artist

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry. Long chapter ahead. This inspiration came on while I was in the middle of writing this chapter. I was writing a totally different chapter 4 when this idea came up. I hope you like it.

Colin had been to the Featheringtons several times since he and Marina were introduced. And with each visit, he made it quite obvious that he was there to see Marina. Penelope, who thought Colin intended for her to join, had come down and joined them a couple of times. But she stopped joining them after it became obvious to Penelope that she was not needed nor wanted. It was inconspicuous at first as Marina had tried painstakingly to include her in the conversations or steer them towards her. But Colin had made it clear that her presence wasn’t wanted. So, after trying several times and failing, Marina just threw Penelope a curious look and a soft smile. 

Penelope was confounded and severely hurt by Colin’s actions. She doesn’t remember ever doing something that gave Colin reason to treat her so poorly. Colin’s obvious affections for Marina shouldn’t bother her anymore because she vowed that she was going to forget Colin and move on. But her pesky heart lives and breathes for one man only. This was far more painful than his impassioned declaration of six years ago. She had thought that even though her love will remain unrequited she could at least forge a friendship with Colin. But Colin’s recent actions seem to mean that whatever friendship or kinship they shared is long gone. They are back to where they started: her as his younger sister’s best friend and him as her best friend’s older brother whom her heart desperately desires and the love she cannot have. 

After it became clear to her that Colin didn’t want her company, she never came down whenever he came to visit. With deadlines looming and work piling, she poured herself onto her writing. Her work as a ghostwriter for many celebrities and prominent figures often leaves her hollow and unfulfilled. If it were not for the lucrative pay, she would have found something else to do a long time ago. She wants to save enough money to be able to stop working and support herself while she looks for a job that would put her double major in English and History to use. Eventually, she has to leave the Featherington home to live on her own. Maybe in a London flat for a couple of years just so she can experience being a big city girl and then find something closer to home as she wants to be near her mom and dad as they are getting on in years. If she is lucky, she might even find a nice enough man to marry, pop out a couple of children, and live a stable albeit sedate life in the country. And hopefully, with time, her heart will finally catch up with her head. She was in the middle of deep rumination when she heard a knock. 

“Come in.” Marina enters and sits on the chest at the end of her bed. 

“Pen, are you okay? I don’t know why Colin is being rude to you.”

“I’m fine. I think he fancies you. That’s typical Colin, actually. He becomes single-minded when he fancies someone. Don’t worry about it.”

Marina scoffed. “Yeah, right! I don’t want another mess when the one I left in London still being tidied by my good, ole Dad. And besides, I have a feeling he’s crazily in love with someone else but is just too blind to see.”

Penelope chose to ignore the bit about Colin being in love with someone else. 

“Someday, you’re going to have to tell me about this mess you left in London. I feel like you are not done with this mess yet or if it's appropriate to even call it a mass.” An understanding of sorts passed between them. 

“Hey, do you want to check some sights and shops tomorrow?”

“That would be great!”

“Great. It’s a date then. Good night, Marina.”

“Night, Pen!”

* * *

“Felicity!!! Come on!! Hurry up! We don’t have all day!” Penelope screamed for her youngest sister to come down.

“Is she always this way?” Marina inquired.

“Sadly, yes. She was even late for her own birth. Mom had to be induced to force her to come out to the world. Felicity believes that one has never properly arrived until one is fashionably late.”

Then came the subject of their conversation with a jaunty bounce in each step looking properly or exceedingly coiffed depending on one’s point of view. 

“Lighten up, sister dear! Unlike you, others actually spend hours primping before going out. Maybe you should try it sometime. It might even help you find a man to save you from spinsterhood.” 

“Well! Unlike you, others actually have jobs to get back to. And I’m hardly a spinster. I’m 28, not 40. Barely on the shelf. Come on, we’re burning daylight here.”

As they trooped to Penelope’s car in the driveway, the sisters continued to argue good-naturedly as Marina looked on with amusement and wonder.

_Meanwhile, across the road at the Bridgertons…_

Colin was pacing furiously on the front porch, leaving scuff marks on Violet’s immaculate wooden floors. He barely had a decent amount of sleep these past few nights. He’ll be damned if he blamed his current predicament on jetlag when he’s traveled extensively for close to a decade now but never experienced a bout of fitful nights until these past few nights. No. His nights have been haunted by a sylph with fiery red hair, peachy smooth skin that could drive a man into submission, turquoise round orbs that seem to darken with desire, and an angelic face that fit perfectly in his hands. He woke up aroused and frustrated at the same time. All he could do was take a cold - very cold - shower.

His plan to seduce Marina had gone awry. She hasn’t called him out yet, but he knows it’s coming and he only has himself to blame. Marina isn’t easily fooled and he’s guessing there’s a story behind her exile here in the Cotswolds. So, with the Marina plan defeated, he has to think of other options. He’s fully aware that he had been a jerk towards Penelope, but he was only trying to protect her from him. Suddenly, his thoughts are interrupted by giggling. He looked across the front yard and saw the object of his dreams and waking moments laughing with the youngest Featherington, Felicity, and Marina. He hadn’t planned it, but his feet carried him across the yard. 

“Hey, ladies!!! Where are you off to?” Colin asked.

“We’re to show Marina around the Cotswolds. We decided to go to Stow-on-the-Wold to show her some of the charming shops there.” Felicity answered.

“Dressed like that?” He was looking at Penelope.

“Are you talking to me?” asked Penelope. “I’m looking at you, aren’t I?” He doesn’t know what came over him, but he decided he couldn’t let other men see her dressed like a siren. Not on his watch. “What’s wrong with what I’m wearing?” Penelope looked down at her outfit. She wasn’t scandalously dressed. She was wearing an off-shoulder floral dress with a sweetheart neckline that showed a hint of cleavage. It wasn’t really short as it covers a good portion of her thighs. 

“Your dress is too short and you’re showing a lot of skin.” Penelope’s eyes turned into slits and her lips pulled inwards. Felicity elbowed Marina and they exchanged worried looks. 

“How dare you, Colin Bridgerton!!!! You’re not the boss of me! I will wear whatever I want whenever I want. I don’t need your permission. I can be buck naked if I want!!” Her eyes were glowing with rage as she repeatedly stabbed Colin’s chest with her finger. 

“Children! Behave! Colin, apologize to my sister now.” Colin looked at Felicity, askance. He released a frustrated breath.

“I’m sorry, Pen! I’m a jerk. Look, let me make it up to you. Let me go with you and lunch and drinks are on me.”

“You think I can easily be appeased with lunch and drinks, Colin? You hurt me.” Somehow, that came out like a sob. Like all her frustrations and hurt from being rebuffed for the past few days came to the surface. 

Against all his better judgment, he pulled her to him and hugged her. She molded perfectly onto him. Soft to his hard planes. This is wrong, but it also feels right. He wants to freeze that moment forever. 

“I know, Pen, and I’m really sorry. I promise to be better, ok? Let me start by coming with you. We haven’t properly caught up. I’m really sorry, Pen.” And to reward himself for restraint, he dropped a kiss on top of her head. She smelled of strawberries and...home. And it scared him shitless.

“Ahhheem! If you’re done making up and almost making out. Can we leave now? Coz little miss here who's dressed like she's going to a nun convention has to be home early today to finish up some work.” Felicity sarcastically said. 

Penelope and Colin stepped from each other with her face almost as fiery as her hair. Penelope walked to the driver’s seat and started the car. Before Felicity could open the backdoor, Colin grabbed her upper arm and almost whispered: “Fi, you sit in the front with your sister.” And when he finally released her, Felicity searched his eyes and understood why. She nodded. Colin wanted to be near Penelope, oh how much he wanted to. But he’s still emotional from his outburst earlier and he still has to sort out his warring emotions and he won’t be able to do that with Penelope just a reach from him. 

The rest of the outing was uneventful. Colin behaved like a perfect gentleman and true to his words, lunch and drinks were on him. Penelope is relieved and overjoyed that the old, charming, and boisterous Colin is back. He regaled them with tales of his travels to Japan, Thailand, and Indonesia over lunch. They were about to enter another local shop after lunch when her phone rang. It’s Benedict.

“Hey, Benny!” 

“Hey, Penny! How’s my favorite Featherington?”

“Uh-oh! What do you want?”

“What? I just missed you! Alex had been asking for you.”

“I’m sorry, Benny! I’ve just been swamped lately. I promise I’ll swing by one of these days.”  
“Well, why don’t you come over now? I have something to show you, actually. I need your opinion.”

She exchanged looks with her sister, Marina, and Colin. The call from Benedict piqued their curiosity too and they all nodded with approval.

“Ok. I’m with Fi, Marina, and Colin. We’ll stop by before we head home.”

“Even better. See you soon!”

Benedict slipped his phone into his pocket and turned to his wife, Sophie, grinned at her, took her hands, and twirled her. 

“Why so happy, darling? You’re practically vibrating like a tuning fork.”

“Coz, my love, the gods of fate had their hands on this. Penelope is coming over with Colin. I couldn’t have planned this better myself.” He grabbed his wife’s hand and walked over to their guest who was busy admiring Benedict’s latest masterpiece.

“You, my friend, are one lucky man. She is coming anytime soon. Prepare yourself.”

Their guest smiled and looked at the canvas near his feet. 

“At last.” He whispered.

Penelope parked her car next to the unfamiliar car parked in front of Benedict and Sophie’s cottage. Colin sidled up to her and continued to pry why Benedict suddenly summoned her.

“I already told you, Col. I don’t know.” The door opened even before they rang the bell. It’s as if the occupants of the house were waiting by the door. Benedict and Sophie welcomed them in and led them to the sitting room where the other guest was waiting. Benedict plucked Penelope from the group and together they approached the man looking out of the window. As soon as the man heard footsteps, he turned and saw the woman who has plagued his conscious and unconscious moments. He decided his recreations of her seemed dull compared to the goddess standing before him. 

“Penelope. I would like you to meet a good friend of mine. Pen, meet Frederick Leopold. He’s also a painter.”

“It’s nice to finally make your acquaintance, Penelope.” He took her hand and instead of shaking it, he bowed and kissed the back of her hand.

Colin stiffened and his jaw clenched. He suddenly saw red. He was never a violent man, but at that moment his fists were itching to connect to something - preferably to the man's face or Benedict's. He was about to lunge on the poor, unsuspecting man when Sophie and Felicity held him back. 

He stormed out of the house and into the cold night. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As you have noticed, English isn't my native tongue. Apologies for the grammatical/punctuation errors. For fans of the Bridgerton series, Frederick Leopold is based on Prince Friedrich (Freddie Stroma). I read on Nicola's twitter that her mom was hoping Penelope would end up with the Prince. That tweet gave me this idea.  
> Thank you Polination for tuning in!


	5. Mothers Know Best...Especially When That Mother is Named Violet Bridgerton

“AAAARRRRGGGHHHHH!!!!” Colin screamed into nothingness to somehow lessen the heaviness on his chest. He felt a slab of lead was sitting on his chest since that man kissed Penelope’s hand and they exchanged smiles. The moment Frederick’s eyes set on Penelope, he knew he was about to lose her and the urge to stake his claim on her was so strong it almost blinded him. He didn’t know where it came from. Has it always been there? So, he took all the pain, the hurt, and the anger he’d been feeling out on that poor, innocent beech tree in Benedict’s front yard. Although judging by his bleeding knuckles, the tree got the better of him. But the pain he’s feeling in his knuckles is nothing compared to the pain he’s feeling in his chest. 

“Colin?” It was Violet with Eloise, Gregory, and Hyacinth. 

“Mom? What are you doing here?” He asked, looking dazed and eyes glassy. 

“Benedict asked us to come over last minute. He said he has a friend he wanted us to meet. What are you doing here?”

“Oh brother. You look like shit! What happened to you?” Hyacinth, as usual, has no filter. 

“Hyacinth! Watch your language!”

“Sorry, Mom! Colin, you look like hell!”

Violet massaged her temples. “Eloise, go inside and take your sister and brother with you.”

All it took was one look at Colin’s scraggly appearance and bloodshot eyes for Eloise to understand why Colin was being a bear. She spared him the most piteous look before ushering her other siblings into Benedict and Sophie’s home. 

Violet gently pulled Colin towards the bench and sat him down before she sat down next to him, taking his bleeding knuckles into her warm, gentle hands. 

“I guess I should be relieved that these didn’t connect with a human jaw,” Violet said. Colin smirked at his mom. 

“Colin, talk to me. What is going on?” He was silent for a moment and then let out a frustrated sigh.

“That’s the thing, Mom. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. Ever since I came back, I’ve been having thoughts about Penelope.”

“Just thoughts?” Violet inquired.

“What do you mean ‘just thoughts’?”

“Colin, my love, I don’t think you’ll have a conniption this serious if all you were having were thoughts about Penelope. Are you sure no feelings are involved? Because I’m pretty sure that beech tree didn’t deserve the beatings over ‘just thoughts.’” Violet looked at her third son without judgment nor rebuke only love and understanding. 

Of her eight children, Colin is the most passionate and impulsive. He tends to leap into things first without much thought. While she is proud of what he had made for himself with his travels, she’s holding out hope that he’ll tire of the frenzy of flying in and out and put down roots. It doesn’t even have to be here in the Cotswolds. It could be anywhere. And he didn’t have to stop traveling altogether, she’s just hoping for him to have someone to travel with. 

Call her medieval but Violet would like to see all her children happily married before she joins her beloved Edmund on the other side. Edmund was taken far too early from them but their love lingered. It is her wish and her prayer that all her children will experience the kind of love that brought them into this world. Anthony, Benedict, Daphne, and Francesca found theirs. Oh, it was not easy - far from it. But love rarely is. And Colin is finally realizing that now. 

Her boy. All grown-up into a strapping and remarkable man. Despite his frequent travels, he is not lost. Drifting perhaps, but not lost. She suspects he is searching for something or  _ someone _ . She doesn’t want to make this difficult for him but she wants him to realize it for himself. That whatever or  _ whoever _ he’s looking for is just right here doing the same thing she’s doing: waiting. 

Maybe Penelope doesn’t realize it yet but she’s waiting also. Waiting for Colin to realize that home is wherever she is. She has known Penelope all her life and she knows that she’s been in love with her son since she was eight years old. She thought it was just puppy love, something that will soon pass. But she watched her turn from an awkward teenager forced to dress in the most unfortunate-looking clothes by her mother into a striking young woman wise beyond her years and self-assured. She and Eloise have always been close, almost like sisters. And she has always looked at Colin with her heart in her eyes. It’s a wonder how Colin did not notice. She doesn’t remember a single Bridgerton event where she wasn’t present. And yet she was remarkably absent each time Colin came home from his travels, except this time. It’s as if she has prepared her heart for the past six years.  _ Prepared for what? _ Violet wondered silently. She looked at her son, grasped his hands tightly, and silently prayed that it’s not too late for him. 

“Whatever it is, darling, you’ll figure it out. Actually, I believe you’re halfway there.”

Colin just looked at her curiously.

“Should we go in and see what your brother has prepared for dinner?” His mother added.

“Please, Mother!!! Benedict, admittedly, is good with his hands, but not when it comes to making something palatable, or at least edible.”

“We should get you cleaned up first. Hyacinth is quite right, you know. You look like shit!”

“Mother!!!!”

“Oh, don’t look so scandalized. I’m sure you’ve uttered far worse. Come on! Let’s get you to look at least presentable.”

* * *

Colin was in one of the bathrooms washing his face. He looked himself in the mirror and thought to himself: _Not much improvement, but at least I no longer look like Iike shit._ He grabbed the towel Sophie left for him and dried himself. He walked into the adjacent bedroom and saw the shirt Sophie laid out for him and the salve for his knuckles. He didn't want to come down, afraid of what he'll see but even more afraid of how he would feel. But his mom's right, it's time to face whatever this is. 

The group was still in the sitting room laughing at what Benedict had said. He spotted Penelope sitting on a chaise lounge with that guy sitting next to her. He rejoiced inwardly when he saw that they were sitting at least a foot apart. Gregory was the first to spot him.

"Colin, did you wash up? Coz not much has changed." Gregory sneered.

"Oh, sod off!"

"Oh good! You're here. We've been waiting for you to show up. I asked Frederick to show his work once you're here so he doesn't have to show and tell twice." 

"What is he? A magician?" he barked. Instinctively, he sat to the right of Penelope.

"Colin, there are plenty of seats. You're squishing Penelope." Eloise declared.

"Well, Dick here is going to get up anyway for the show and tell." he gestured with his thumb towards Frederick. Penelope narrowed her eyes at him. He ignored her.

"His name is Frederick." Penelope's voice dripped with danger.

"Well, Dick is short for Frederick." Colin reasoned and stared her down.

"Actually, I prefer Freddie. If you don't mind." 

"I _do_ mind!" Colin and Frederick stared each other down. The room abuzz with much activity and chatter before turned deadly silent. 

"Guys, I did not come here for a staring contest. Can we please get on with this show and tell so we can all eat? I'm starving." Felicity broke the silence before it turned suffocating.

"Lovely idea, Fi!" Violet replied.

Frederick got up and took out a large parcel from the back of the sofa. He handed it to Penelope who accepted it suspiciously. She looked up at him with eyes wide and confused.

"You do the honors, Pen." Frederick smiled down at her. Colin never wanted to hit a man before as much as he wanted to wipe the smile off Frederick's face. He clenched his fists and stayed quiet. Violet and Sophie exchanged worried looks. Benedict seems to be enjoying his brother's suffering.

Penelope opened the package. Her jaw dropped and her eyes bulged at what she saw. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In response to alexeideservedbetter's question whether Benny set this encounter up, it will be in the next chapter :)  
> Now that I've introduced all the central characters, the game is afoot!!!  
> Let the match or mismatch begin!!!


	6. Woman In the Rain

Penelope could not believe what she’s seeing. She’s unsure whether she should be scandalized or flattered. The brushstrokes appeared frantic and hurried as if the artist was painting a picture seared in his memory and he did not want to miss a single nuance. On her right, she felt Colin froze. He did not say anything, but his silence said plenty. She did not dare afford him a glance for fear of what she’ll see in those dark blue orbs but she did slip a hand through his and gave it a squeeze. She was relieved when he squeezed her hand back and surprised when he laced their fingers. 

Everyone seems to be watching Penelope intently and holding their collective breath. It was Eloise who pierced the balloon of silence. 

“Come on, Pen. Don’t be a hog. We want to see it too.” She walked towards Penelope and snatched the painting despite Penelope’s firm grip on it. 

“Oh my!” Eloise gasped. Everyone, with the exception of Penelope and Colin, gathered around her to look at the painting. 

It was a painting of Penelope in the rain. The forest green satin slip dress clung to her like a second skin accentuating each dip and bend of her body. Her alabaster skin had a moonlike glow against the backdrop of gray, brown, emerald, and chartreuse. Her auburn hair tousled from the wind and rain burned brightly against the dark clouds. Her face was tilted up to the sky and her mouth was slightly parted as if in an act of entreaty or abandon. She looked sensual and innocent at the same time like a forest nymph frolicking in her enchanted kingdom. She was breathtaking. If anyone were to look at this piece, one would be hard-pressed to look away. 

“Pen, care to explain?” Felicity asked her sister.

“She can’t. She didn’t know until now.” Frederick answered for her and then he continued, “We met only today. I happen to chance upon her one afternoon a few weeks ago. I was looking for inspiration for a new exhibit. Benedict told me that maybe the bluebells in Marlborough could spark some inspiration. I spent the whole afternoon looking at a blank canvass. The sky was darkening, it was starting to drizzle, and the wind was picking up. So, I decided to pack up. I just got all of my stuff in the car when the heavens opened. I was about to drive away when I heard a string of expletives. I got out of my car to check if anyone needed help. That’s when I saw you, Pen. You were drenched and you were wrestling an umbrella against the harsh winds. And when you realized that it was pointless, you flung it and just started laughing. It was the funniest thing. Then you started to twirl under the rain and laugh. God, you were the most astonishing and beautiful thing I’ve seen. I was mesmerized. The joy. The childlike wonder. I’ve never seen anything like it. You looked like a woodland fairy. I wanted to get to know you. I even wanted to join you. But I was embarrassed at the same time coz I felt like an intruder in a moment that’s supposed to be sacred. It was an internal battle that I eventually lost, but my phone rang when I was about to approach you. You were gone when I hung up. I looked for you, but you were long gone. I was convinced that what I saw was an apparition until I saw this.” Frederick took out a piece of jewelry from his pocket and handed it to Penelope. 

Penelope drew a breath, let go of Colin’s hand, and reached out to take the necklace from Frederick. 

“You found it. Thank you. I came back the next day to look for it. I feared it was lost forever. Thank you for keeping it safe for me.” She clasped the necklace tightly to her chest. 

“That night I painted you from memory. And every day after that, all my paintings were of a girl with fiery red hair. You’ve plagued my thoughts for weeks, so I decided that I should meet you to at least thank you for inspiring me. That’s when I asked for Benedict’s help. I figured and desperately hoped that he knows you since he lives in the area. I was not mistaken.” Frederick looked at her as if she was the only person in his orbit. 

All the ladies in the room had dazed looks with hands on their hearts as if they’re watching a Jane Austen novel play out. Gregory exchanged looks with Benedict, gestured a slit to his neck, and pointed at Colin. Benedict replied with a smirk and a twinkle in his eye. Everyone was startled when Colin loudly clapped. 

“Well, Dick, that was some tale. Enough to almost make me swoon. If you ever need a second job or a career change, you’ll be great as a romance novelist. Are we done here?”

“Colin, don’t be rude. He’s a guest.” Violet admonished.

“Yeah, an  _ unwelcome _ one” he murmured to himself. “Exactly, Mother! I bet our guest here is starving, so I suggest we wrap this up and that painting so we can all have dinner.” Colin added almost too amiably. 

“Actually, I’m giving it to Penelope. That’s one of the reasons I searched for her. After much thought, I decided that this one shouldn’t be put on public display. It’s too intimate. Too sacred.” 

“Uhhhm. Thank you.” Penelope answered shyly. Penelope almost squirmed from the attention. Despite being a grown woman of twenty-eight and having been on multiple dates, she’s still not used to receiving praise and attention, especially from men. 

“Come on, Pen. Let’s eat, so we can go home.” Colin grabbed her hand and started walking towards the dining room. Penelope looked down to their clasped hands and saw his knuckles bleeding. 

“Oh my God, Colin. You’re bleeding. What happened?” She started fussing over him. “Sophie, first aid kit?”

Sophie ushered them to a bedroom. “I’ll be back with some antiseptic and ointment.” Then she was gone. 

“Come on, Col. Let’s wash your wounds first.” She is tiny but one wouldn’t know that by the way she hustled Colin to the lavatory. She turned on the tap and started lathering Colin’s hands with soap. Colin almost told her he’s perfectly capable of washing and lathering his hands but he likes the feel of her on his skin. He watched her intently as she continued to lather his hands. Has he ever noticed her lashes are long and they almost curl at the ends? He noted how her cheeks are naturally pink without the aid of cosmetics, and how smooth and soft her skin is. The adorable freckle sitting atop her upper lip didn’t escape his attention. Finally, his eyes darted to her lips. They’re the perfect shape, like a cupid’s bow.  _ I wonder if they would taste as good as they look.  _ His reverie was disturbed by Sophie who came barreling in with medical supplies like he needed surgery of some kind. 

“Sophie, did you bring the whole pharmacy with you?” 

“Well, I didn’t know what Penelope will need. So, I brought everything. Come down for dinner when you’re done.” And then she’s gone with the door firmly closed.

He dried his hands and sat down on the bed while Penelope rummaged through stuff Sophie brought. She set the stuff next to Colin, knelt in front of him, and started treating his wound. If this were any other situation, it would have been romantic, erotic even. 

“Pen…”

She looked up and met his intense gaze. 

“Do you like that guy?” he asked because he had to. 

“How could I? I don’t even know him. We just met.”

“But, you think you could grow to like him? He did paint you. He seems to be really keen on you. I bet he’s going to ask you out for dinner or a movie.” He’s aware that he’s fishing, but he really needs to know. For his peace of mind. 

“I’m not that easy. I guess he’s charming and all but I wouldn’t go out with him just because he painted me.”

“You shouldn’t.” He tipped her chin so she’s looking at him. How did he not notice that her eyes are the color of the sky and that her irises are flecked with gold and yellow? “You should be with someone you really like and someone who likes you back. Someone you’re comfortable with. A man who knows how beautiful your brain is. A man who makes you laugh. A man who knows the dreams and desires of your soul. And a man who would turn those dreams and desires into reality.” 

“Do you know such man?” Penelope almost whispered. Since he thought he couldn’t possibly put his response into words, he brought his lips to hers. He devoured her like she was his last meal. He sipped her bottom lip like she was an elixir. He had claimed her mouth in his dreams but this, this moment could never compare. He traced the seam of her mouth, coaxing her to open up for him. And when she did, he almost lost his ever-loving mind. Penelope matched his fervor. She had dreamed of this many a night. She thought it would remain a dream, a hope to keep her company in the twilight. This moment may be all she’ll ever have, so she poured all the pent-up love she has for this man. She didn't realize that Colin had moved her on the bed. She was now underneath him. Colin broke the kiss and scanned her face.

“Pen…I…” 

He was interrupted by loud knocks. 

“Come on, kids. Dinner is starting. Colin, I know how hungry you are. Come down before we eat all the food.” It was Benedict. He has never wanted to commit fratricide so badly. 

“We’re coming.” He answered.

“Yeah, I bet you are.” Benedict cheekily replied. 

Penelope roared with laughter. His heart fluttered seeing her beneath him. He wanted to claim her right then and there but he knew it’s not the right time. So, he dropped a kiss on her head, on the tip of her nose, and lastly on her lips. He made it light as he couldn’t trust himself if it had gone deeper. 

“Come on, woodland fairy. Let’s not keep them waiting.” He pulled Penelope from the bed. 

“How do I look?” Penelope asked as soon as she was on her feet. Her lips are swollen from his kisses, her pupils are dilated, and her cheeks are almost as red and radiant as her hair.  _ I did that to her. _ Colin smirked. 

“Like mine.” He responded.

_ Journal, _

_ I AM FUCKED!!!!  _

_ Pen _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Love to all the Polins of the world.


	7. Of Lippies and Steaks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for this way overdue update. I was stuck in a rut last week.  
> I hope you enjoy this chapter. I don't know, this feels like a filler. 
> 
> Thank you for all the lovely comments and kudos!

_ Like Mine. Like Mine? Like Mine!!!  _ It felt like her brain had jettisoned into obscurity leaving her skull hollow with those two words bouncing off its walls. She should be delighted. Hasn’t she waited all these years to be kissed and possessed by Colin? Whatever joy she should be feeling was undermined by the fact that merely days ago he was making eyes at Marina and didn’t want her company.  _ What changed?  _ She would like to ask him. But that was a question for another day. They needed to go down and join the party before Violet came up to read them the riot act. 

She combed her hair with her fingers and inspected herself in the cheval mirror. She looked like a woman thoroughly loved judging by her swollen lips, smeared lipstick, and pink-tinged cheeks. They shared only a kiss. But what a kiss it was! She’d been kissed before. But Colin’s was  **THE KISS** . It was the kiss that decimated all the kisses she shared with boys she dated in the past. It was a kiss of a  _ man _ . A kiss that took everything she could offer and promised a possibility if she dared hope.

She caught Colin’s reflection in the mirror looking at her with a shit-eating grin plastered on his face and his eyes sparkling with mischief.  _ Cheeky bastard!  _

“Hey, Col!” She called out. “Orgasm looks good on you!” She added, a wicked twinkle in her eye. Colin grew absolutely still and with clenched fists and jaw, he stalked towards her. His blue eyes grew impossibly darker that they turned almost black and his cheeks were aflame. A vein on his temple started to pulsate conspicuously. He looked dangerous and dangerously sexy. Penelope could only stare and she felt like they were standing in a vacuum and all she could hear was her heart pounding furiously. All her senses were heightened. His eyes seemed to pierce the very depths of her soul. Then in a whirl, he grabbed her waist and brought her flush against him leaving barely enough room for air. Their noses almost touched and his eyes never left hers. 

“What the fuck are you on about?” He almost whispered. His breath felt like a kiss of a thousand stars on her skin. She looked up and met his stare. It was a stare that dared her to yield everything to him. And she would because this is Colin Fucking Bridgerton. The man she has loved and pined for for most of her life. 

_ But he said he was never going to marry you! Better keep that in mind, little miss, before you start looking up baby names. If anything, he would just fuck and dump you and go on traveling again!  _ Came that annoying voice of reason that sounded strangely like her mother’s. 

She swallowed the furball that somehow got stuck in her throat and met his stare with what she wished was just as intense as his. She saw something else in those orbs. Something she wasn’t ready for, so she fibbed. She fumbled in the pocket of the dress he chastised her earlier for until she found what she was looking for. She pulled out a small, slim tube and uncapped it. With furrowed brows, Colin stared at her like she sprung two heads. 

She then coquettishly applied the said lip gloss to her lips and with much aplomb, popped them like she just finished sucking a popsicle. His eyes bugged out of his head, it was almost comical. And if he was semi-hard earlier, he was now sporting a full, raging hard-on. He could take her right then & right there but despite his cock almost in control of all of his senses, he decided he should wait until they’re somewhere where none of the pesky Bridgertons can walk in on them. And just because he saw it fit to reward his restraint, he dropped his head for a kiss when...

“A lippy, Col! Lippy!” She waved that tiny weapon of distraction at his face. 

“Huh?”

“You got Orgasm smeared all over your face. It’s the name of my lippy. You got it while  _ you _ were, you know.” She couldn’t help the blush that spread over her face.

“It’s called a kiss, Pen, where you were also quite an enthusiastic participant! And for someone who’s got Orgasm for a lippy, you’re quite a prude,” he smirked at her. 

“Touche, Col. I gotta tell you I have that in another shade. I think that one would suit you better than this. It’s called Super Orgasm.” She returned his smirk with one of her own as she wiped off Orgasm from his face. He disconcerted her with his fierce stare like he was committing each facial feature to memory. Her breath hitched each time he kissed the pad of her thumb as she wipes off the gloss from his lips and face. 

“You know, Pen. I can see why Dick found you so arresting.”

“Again, his name is Frederick. Call him that or Freddie like he asked. Don’t be asinine,” she lightly hit his arm. 

“Fine. As I was saying, I can see why he felt compelled to paint you. I know you don’t see yourself the way I, and apparently Dick, see you. And if I have even half of Ben’s talent, I would paint or sculpt you too.” She almost cried from the poignancy.

“But I would rather paint or sculpt you naked,” and then he went and ruined the moment. 

“Colin!!!” she scolded. 

“Sorry, darling. I know I have the body and the face of a Greek god, but I’m merely a man. A man with carnal needs and desires.” Penelope simply rolled her eyes at him. “Yeah, I can  _ feel _ the man has carnal needs and desires and it’s not going to happen,” she countered. 

“I’m not sorry about  _ that _ and it’s going to happen, alright. Not tonight, obviously. But it’s going to happen eventually. Maybe sooner than you think. Honey, we’re throwing off sparks here we could have set the house on fire,” he gave her a lascivious look. She shook her head at him. “Come on! Let’s go downstairs before they sic Hyacinth, Eloise, and Felicity on us. You know we’ll never hear the end of it. It’s already bad enough that Benny thought we were bonking.”

She grabbed his hand and pulled him towards the door but stopped when she remembered something. She took out the necklace she kept in her pocket.

“Can you help me put this on?” she handed the necklace to Colin who inspected the object. His eyes widened in recognition. 

“You kept it?” he said reverently.

“How could I not? Except for the chocolates, I’ve kept everything you sent me from your travels. They made me feel like you were sending me a piece of you from each destination you visited. But this. This right here is my favorite.”

Colin was humbled by this admission. He looked at her,  _ really  _ looked at her. That’s when he saw. There, reflected in her huge baby blues is all the love she held close throughout all these years. It humbled him. It scared him. It made him stir-crazy. It disturbed him. He wasn’t sure if he was ready for it. He wasn’t sure if he were the man for it. But he sure would like to be. 

Speechless, he took the necklace and went around her. He swept her hair to the side and secured the necklace. And because he couldn’t help himself and it was there for the taking, he pressed a kiss on her nape. He lingered a little longer than deemed appropriate, inhaling her scent. 

“I remember this. I remember everything, Pen. This was from my first trip. I was in a bazaar in Venice. I saw this and it reminded me of you, so I simply had to have it. That first time I came home, I was so excited to give this to you coz I knew that you would love this. Frankly, Pen, I was really disappointed that you weren’t there when I came to visit. I didn’t think anything of it until you didn’t show up the next time I came home and then all the times after that. Then, I remember the last time I saw you six years ago. I don’t think I’ve ever apologized for that. I’m so sorry, Pen. Please forgive me,” he implored. 

Penelope faced him and realized how her decision to stay away from him hurt him terribly. She cupped his face and allayed his fears with a single kiss. 

“I’m sorry, too, for staying away.” 

“Colin! Penelope!” The voice knocked on the door. 

“It’s not Hyacinth, Eloise, or Felicity,” he said.

“It’s worse. It’s your mum,” she grinned at him. She grabbed Colin and dragged him to the door. “Come on, food hoover, before Hyacinth or Gregory divides your portion.”

When she opened the door, they found Violet fumbling with a bunch of keys. She let out a sigh of relief and smiled at the two. 

“Oh good. You’re out! I thought I would have to break down the door from its hinges,” she eyeballed the two and deduced that nothing untoward happened. She planted herself between the two, hooked her arms with Penelope’s and Colin’s, and went downstairs to join the rest for dinner. 

Everyone was seated already in the dining room. The only seats available were the ones next to Frederick and one facing him. 

“Ahhh. Good of you to finally join us. Here, Pen, I just have the place for you.” Benedict guided her to the empty seat next to Frederick but before Benedict could pull out the chair Colin commandeered the seat leaving Benedict with no choice but to sit her somewhere else. It didn’t escape Colin’s attention that Frederick looked disappointed that  _ he _ was seated next to him. He threw an arm around the man much to everyone’s surprise.

“Cheer up, Bud. I don’t bite! As long as you don’t  _ covet my steak _ ,” Colin flashed a feral smile at Frederick. Colin is a lot of things but subtle isn’t one of them.

“I don’t know if I should be flattered that I am likened to a steak or offended that he thinks of me as  _ his _ piece of meat,” Penelope complained to Benedict while shooting daggers at Colin.

Benedict called for everyone’s attention as soon as everyone was seated. 

“Okay, everyone. You heard Colin, don’t covet your neighbor’s steak.”

“Benedict Bridgerton!” Violet admonished. 

Halfway through the meal, Benedict faced Penelope.

“Penny, Freddie was telling me earlier that he would love to paint you in the nude.”

Colin choked on a big piece of steak. 


	8. What's For Dinner? Steak With A Side of Denial

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First, I would like to apologize for this VERY DELAYED update. Not even going to make excuses because my behavior was inexcusable. This change in the weather and temp really was the catalyst to my return to writing.
> 
> I'm endlessly grateful to the wonderful and glorious (a la JVN!!!!) [Crizzadile](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Crizzadile/pseuds/Crizzadile/) for beta-ing my work and palling around with me and gushing on Polin and Richard Ayoade ;). You're simply one of the best! 
> 
> Dearest [Cy20](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cy20/pseuds/Cy20/), I know I said I was going to upload a new chap over the weekend. My apologies for the delay. I hope this one is up to snuff.

“Penny, Freddie was telling me earlier that he would love to paint you in the nude,” Benedict announced almost too loudly and a tad facetiously as if he was having a bit of fun at someone’s expense. 

Silence. Then, it turned into a prolonged awkward lull. 

Eyeballs landed on Benedict first. Then on Frederick, who shifted uncomfortably in his seat and appeared to be having a conversation with the big juicy steak on his plate. He thought if there was a way for the steak to swallow him instead. Finally, they looked at Penelope. Sweet, charming Penelope who was never comfortable being the center of attention, to begin with, but in the middle of one now. She appeared even smaller, as her rosy cheeks grew more crimson, if it were even possible. She did not dare look at anyone but she suddenly found Sophie’s plain white tablecloth the most fascinating object at the moment. 

Then, the spell was broken, as if what Benedict had said just reached his ears, Colin started choking like a big piece of meat was stuck in his windpipe. Frederick clapped his back until whatever was stuck was dislodged. He rose from his seat and glowered at Frederick. Benedict, Sophie, Violet, and Penelope also rose from their chairs while the others remained seated in rapt attention. 

“First, you painted her without her consent and now you want to paint her nude? What kind of perverted mind do you have? I forbid this!” Colin seethed, eyes blazing with fury. 

Frederick rose to his full height and returned Colin’s gaze. He wasn’t going to be intimidated. He was done being insulted by this man. 

“No art of mine has ever been called perverted. You can ask your brother or look up any of my works. I’ve worked long and hard and I will not have my work ethics insulted by you. You, of all, people should know that beauty is appreciated in a myriad of ways. You travel to all of these wonderful places, and the beauty you see from those travels is then translated into words. My way of translation is different from yours. You and Penelope, are you...together? You act as if you are.”

“We’re not together,” Penelope and Colin said almost simultaneously while the rest chorused: “They’re not together.”

Despite their denial, they resembled anything but NOT together. Penelope appeared somber and perplexed at the same time. Colin, on the other hand, appeared outraged and confounded. 

“Well, Colin, I don’t know why or how this concerns you since you’re not together. Surely, the only permission I need is Penelope’s.”   
“Gentlemen, please. Can we all act like civilized citizens here and discuss this matter later? You’re only making Penelope uncomfortable.” Violet interjected and sent Penelope a smile. Penelope returned with a nod and a smile grateful for the intrusion. This seemed to have the desired effect as everyone settled into their seats and returned to their meals, albeit in a more tacit manner with only the silverware cutting into the china making the occasional noise. 

“So, Colin. What’s got your knickers in a twist, really? Because,  _ if  _ you and Penelope really aren’t together, that was quite an objection,” Benedict started and grimaced when Sophie kicked his shins.

“Benedict Bridgerton!” Violet admonished. 

“Because she is a  _ very dear friend _ and I care about her. We all do and I don’t see why none of you find this whole thing outrageous,” Colin responded as he continued chewing and cutting his steak, albeit a tad more emphatically than usual. 

Penelope almost flinched at the weight and meaning of his words. Wasn’t it just earlier he claimed her as his? Friends, no matter how  _ very dear _ , don’t push friends onto the bed with every intention of sleeping with them. And, finally, friends don’t stick their tongue down their friend’s throat to do the electric slide. Did she imagine their whole exchange earlier? Was she daydreaming again? 

“Well, I’m Pen’s best friend and I don’t think it’s outrageous. I find it flattering that someone would want to paint me nude. I say do it, Pen!!!!” Eloise exclaimed, banged both her fists on the table, and grinned at Penelope from across the table.

“I don’t know, Colin. Thou protest too much, methinks. As Pen’s sister, I think this whole nude painting business is brill! Did you take a _good_ _look_ at that painting of Pen? Tell me that didn’t take your breath away because - and I may say this with a shade of bias - even I would say that was jaw-droppingly splendid. Imagine what Pen would look like painted nude. I would like to be painted nude myself and then show it proudly to my grandchildren someday and say with pride that I used to be a sexy siren in my heyday,” Felicity countered enthusiastically and winked at Penelope. 

“And as an artist, I’ve always thought that Penelope looked like Boticelli’s Venus in  _ The Birth of Venus _ . If you decide to do it, Pen, I say good on you! Don’t listen to Colin. You do you! _ ” _ Benedict piled on. 

“Bloody hell!” Colin placed his silverware down on the table a little too forcefully. “I can’t believe you’re encouraging this. Pen, tell me you’re not going to do this,” he gave Penelope a beseeching look. 

“Well, Colin, since _ ‘we’re not together’  _ and we’re just _ ‘very dear friends _ ,’” Penelope air quoted then added: “The decision is ultimately mine alone. And I’m thinking how liberating and exciting it would be to be painted nude. I’ve struggled with body image. I know I’ve grown confident and I’ve accepted my curves after all these years. But doing this could get rid of the last vestiges of my insecurities,” Penelope challenged Colin with a look. 

“This is madness. Nothing’s wrong with your body, Pen. I think you’re rather perfect. You’ve always been perfect. You don’t need a nude painting to tell you that. I won’t allow this. You’re not doing this,” Colin blurted determinedly. Penelope gawked at him. Damn, Colin! One second he was infuriating then delightful the next. As far as confessions went, that was the best he could do...  _ for now _ . It was not a full confession but it was a start. 

“Tell me why you’re not allowing me to do this, Colin,” she asked willfully, his name was almost a whisper and it sent shivers down his spine. 

Everyone stopped and gaped at him, clearly waiting for his answer. Colin suddenly felt hot under the collar and incapable of intelligent speech. “Because...coz…” he stuttered. “Because like I said, you’re important to me and I think it’s just not appropriate for just about anyone to see you naked,” Colin finished, exhaling loudly. 

“Well, who should see me naked then?” Penelope asked, looking almost outraged now. He met her gaze and saw the weariness and anticipation in them. And he dared not hope, did he see a flicker of yearning? 

Colin shifted uncomfortably in his seat, reached for the red, and downed all its contents. He had to put something in his mouth. Or else, he would have blurted something out entirely. He didn’t want half of his family, her family, and especially that annoying interloper to know, that if  _ anyone  _ should see Penelope in all her gloriousness, it should only be him. ONLY HIM. 

“I don’t think this is a topic appropriate for discussion right now,”Colin said

“I think we’ve breached past appropriate when Ben brought up nude painting.”Pen countered. 

“Oh, heavens! This is getting exhausting now. I thought your head took a vacation from your ass, Colin, but I see that’s not the case,” Hyacinth called out. 

“Hyacinth! Watch your mouth, young lady!” Violet scolded.

“What?! I’m only saying what everyone has been  _ thinking _ . And wasn’t it you who taught me that honesty saves everyone's time. I’m only trying to help Colin from wasting more time. He’s already wasted 12 years and he’s 33. He hasn’t got much time to waste.” Hyacinth shrugged as everyone else broke into a boisterous laugh, with the exception of Colin who looked thunderous, and Penelope who looked concerned and perplexed.

“Hyacinth, darling, that’s not what I meant. I’m displeased with your use of that word. We are all aware that Colin is mucked up but please put it nicely next time. No discussing of body parts and bits,”

“They’ve been talking about nudity which exposes more parts and bits, actually all parts and bits. And you’re taking exception to my use of one body part,” Hyacinth murmured.

“Ok. I’ve had enough of your impertinence, Hyacinth Bridgerton. No dessert for you tonight.”

“Oh no, Mother. You didn’t! I hate to state the obvious but Hyacinth is way past that age where withholding tooth-rotting goodies is considered a punishment. In fact, I think we can all agree that after witnessing jughead’s-,” Gregory jabbed his thumb in Colin’s direction, “episode of foot-in-mouth disease, that going through all of that muck again during dessert would be overkill. Coz whatever went down here tonight was a meal - GOURMET!!! With a complimentary three-tiered cake!” Gregory exclaimed gleefully. 

“DENY! DENY! DENY!” Hyacinth added while jabbing her palm in the air gesturing the three tiers of the cake. 

Everyone, with the exception of Colin and Penelope, erupted in laughter. Sophie shook her head at her brother-in-law and made an inconspicuous noise that almost sounded like an insult to his intelligence or lack thereof. He felt like he was the source of all this laughter but he couldn’t grasp what they were jesting about. He ventured a glance at Penelope’s way and what he saw almost destroyed him. Her beautiful blue orbs reflected disappointment, sadness, and surrender. He felt like the bottom had dropped out of his stomach. He wanted to reach out to her, take her away from this chaos, and spirit her away to where only the two of them exist. But he had this sinking feeling that it’s the last thing Penelope needed right now. 

“Pen…” Colin called out but was drowned out by Penelope.

“Frederick,” Penelope uttered suddenly much to the artist’s surprise. She fidgeted in her seat, gulped a few times, and she must have turned three shades redder than her hair. She had to do this before she chickened out. 

“How does two days from now sound?” she scream-whispered. She didn’t think anyone heard her when it seemed everyone was engrossed with Hyacinth and Gregory’s horseplay. But, boy, was she wrong because all conversation and laughter ceased after she posed the question to Frederick. The silence was almost deafening. Frederick looked aghast like everyone else. Colin looked murderous with both hands on the table now clenched into tight fists, so tight that his knuckles were almost white. Penelope blinked once, twice. She was about to rescind her invitation when a booming voice that could only belong to one person broke the spell of silence. 

“Hello, family!!!!!” Anthony Bridgerton, along with his wife Kate, came barreling in with a gaggle of kids. His and Benedict’s, since he and Kate apparently offered to take the kids to the park. 

“So, what did we miss?” Anthony asked with a knowing smirk as he looked at both Colin and Penelope. 

“Auntie Pen! Auntie Pen!!!” Benedict and Sophie’s four-year-old son, Alex, ran full speed ahead when he saw the redhead. He excitedly climbed onto Penelope’s lap without invitation and gave her a toothy grin. Penelope showered the child with kisses on his neck that caused him to dissolve in a fit of giggles. 

“Oh, how I missed you! How have you gotten so big?” she gently and playfully poked his sides. 

“Auntie Pen! Auntie Kate said I could marry you when I grow up coz unlike Unc Colin I won’t make you wait four thousand years!” he declared quite passionately. 


End file.
